Sisters

I have four sisters, and talk about differences! The eldest is sixtysix, the youngest fortyfive. I am the fourth in line, and oldest of my fathers' second wife. We never get together, not even when our parents died, and for a lot of reasons, that's sad. I love them all, and at various times in my life of fiftyone years, they have all held a very influencial part in my life.

Now, trying to put some perspective in words about us, I can't get the words right. My mind is spinning with memories: when I was five Karen took me with her on a walk in the woods, and we climbed through some barb wire and I got cut right above the back of my knee, I wonder if she would remember...I idolized her and followed in her footsteps by leaving home when I was seventeen like she did.

I could get lost like that, but that's not what today is about. Today is about restoring my relationship with Leigh, my younger sister, who lives close enough to meet for lunch once in a while. We did that yesterday, along with a little shopping, and had a good time, and good talk. We keep the talk light, about family (hers), and avoid things that would cause tension. Such as the fact my daughter has nothing to do with her, and Leigh has nothing to do with George, and Linda has nothing to do with her, Karen never has, and what a bunch of shit! Anyway, I am glad Leigh and I are becomming friends, and keeping it light is fine by me, for now. BUT-

Now there is tension between George and myself, because of a horse show my neice is in next week, that I want to go see, but George would not be welcomed. When I brought the show up he invited himself, and got hurt and angry when I reminded him he might not be welcome. So, because of a bunch of shit (I know no other way to put it), I am in a no win situation.

This seems to me to be a part of being a family, maybe not the best part, but still a part. Like any group of people some don't get along well with others, or even like each other, but are held together by some common thread. It is hard, sometimes, like this silly thing I have to deal with, but to me it's worth it. There is good in all of us and I think it's worth the struggle to be the aunt that watched Lindsay barrel race!

(I still don't know how to deal with this, but I will!)

Peace