Day By Day

Day by day is how it's been, I am happy yet discontent at the same time. I am happiest when I'm delivering meals, I get a real high. Then I rush home to fix lunch and see the soap with George before I take hime to work. Then I have the rest of the day to myself, and sometimes that's good, when I have plans. Days I don't have anything special to do I get antsy and tend to get blue in a hurry. There is plenty of things I always can do, sometimes I cannot get motivated, even when I want to do something, i.e. the gym.

I have found something that makes me feel good, and helps someone else at the same time- I have taken one of my "peeps" to the store twice. Delores has had brain surgery (she had a tumor), and she also has feet problems, so I understand her. She is seventysomething, and determined to keep walking even when it takes her forever and hurts. She also tries to pay her bills and is having trouble with it. I am cautious about how much I get involved with, but she talks to me and shares all these things,and I want to help her.

Another one of my "peeps" is a woman named Tillie. She told me last week that I was all she had to look forward to everyday and she hates weekends when I don't come. I decided to help her too, but she hasn't asked yet. I thought about going to take her for a hamburger last night, but I couldn't get out of my funk. I will, though.

I have been worrying about money and bills, and I have a hard time getting George to just go over them sometimes. I know worrying is negative, and I fight it, and I get mad and feel like I shouldn't be alone with that. I guess I'm not happy about our stuff and I don't want to admit it. I go up and down, and I've talked to Z. I guess I'll keep it up for now, at least.


Peace